The Legend of Zelda: The Invasion Of The Brabirds
by Owl101
Summary: This is chapter 1 of The Invasion Of The Brabirds, a humour by me and a friend. Please read and comment apropriatly. Any contstructive critism is recommended aswell as comments. If you do read this then thankyou.


Link confronts a Deku Scrub and it fires nuts at Link and boy does he go nuts, he gets his bow and shoots an arrow right through his wooden plant-type body, and a pair of knickers land on Link's head from above, it's the Brabird

Link: Ahhhhhhh the Brabird!

The Deku scrub scrubs away into its small hole as thousands of Brabirds fly down upon Link.

Link: Oh joy. He frowns

Link: Where the f did these come from, the knickers smell badly, is that there means of attacking, using smelly knickers?

Link holds the pair of knickers and puts them to his nose where a rotten scent drifts up his nostrils. Link runs away at super speed upon smelling he pantyloons, but unfortunately bumps into a Poncy Poe.

Poncy Poe: Oh deary me young child, I do believe I have left my handkerchief at home.

Poncy Poe floats off with his hand on his hip and humming in a high pitched voice

Link: Blinks Anyway...

He then heads for Clock Town and goes to the Mayor's Residence to complain and inform him of the problem

Link: I need to see da Mayor Miss it is an emergency!

Secretary: I'm sorry the Mayor is having a s at the moment he will be a while, please wait you will know he is finished when hear the flush and the blockage of the pipes

Link: Oh ok...in the meantime I'll go and pop a balloon...or two.

Link goes to northern clocktown and sees a small child trying to burst a purple balloon. Link gets a rock and aims for the balloon, but lo and behold he farts and his aim is sent off balance, the rock flies into the small child's head and sends him flying.

Small child: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Link: Ahem... tugs invisible collar

Link walks into the Mayor's Residence only to hear a crunching sound and the sound of a large ferret getting itself stuck in a weasel's mouth.

Secretary: Yep, he's done.

Link walks into the Mayor's Office

Link: Mayor! Mayor! I have just thrown a..."wait what the hell am i sayin?" Umm start again. Mayor! Mayor! There are strange creatures wandering Hyrule field including a new species of bird, a Brabird that drops rotten smelly filthy wet knickers on you

Mayor: Oh my! That sounds...BLOODY RIDICULOUS! GUARDS!

Guard: Yes Mayor?

Mayor: Get rid of this sexually disturbed boy out of my sight

Link: No wait!

A horrible smell erupts into the room, along with a noise that sounds somewhat like a tomato flying into a brick wall. All the Guards hold their noses and drop unconscious to the floor.

Mayor: WHAT THA...I DEMAND AN EXPLANATION FOR THIS AT ONCE CHILD

Link: How am I meant to know? But bloody hell it sure stinks in here did someone bloody poop there pants or somethin? GEEZ!

Mayor: My secretary suffered from diarrhea at a young age

Secretary: Heh...whoops

A small part of the ceiling inconspicuously drops to the floor in front of her.

Mayor: What in tarnation was that?

Link: A Brabird perhaps?

Mayor fumes in anger and throws a chair at Link, Link ducks and the chair flies into one of the guards that was just getting up

Chair Impacted Guard: Oh for the love of... Crunch

Link: I'll...be going now

Link ran out and the entire Mayor's Residence collapsed and everyone inside died

Link: Oh nuts, it's the invasion of the Brabirds, wat am I going to do man?

Keaton appears from nowhere

Keaton: Well a most obvious assumption would be to stop them

Link: Whoa! What's with tha getup?

Keaton: Hmph, did you summon me or not?

Previously Link had ran out and started violently attacking grass with his cheap Iron sword in anger.

Link: Let's see...umm...nope!

Keaton: Well I don't see anyone else here? Do you?

Link looks over to a suspicious gray-haired, bomb carrying old granny.

Link: Errr ye...

The Keaton rushes over and pushes the grandma down a hill.

Keaton: I said do you?

Link: Not really no. Anyway, how do you suppose we get rid of these Brabirds?

Keaton: WE? WHO THE BLOODY HELL SAID WE!

Link rushes backwards

Link: Ummm ummm ummm ummm ummmmm that thing!

Link points to incoming Brabird who drops a pair of sweaty, wet knickers on top of the Keaton, the Keaton frowns and fades away, leaving the knickers on the ground.

Link: Man he's no help neither is the rest of this place I gotta stop this invasion before Termina is covered in nothing but wet fishy knickers!

Link ran towards Termina Field and onto Great Bay where he saw many Zoras lining up on the beach

Link: Huh? Looks like a goddamn soldier lineup

Link runs closer to the group of Zoras stood in a long line, he stands in front of them and stamps his leg down and raises a hand to his forehead

Link: ATTENTION!

One of the Zoras: What the bloody hell are you doing? Get out of the way!

It was too late, hundreds of boomerang shaped objects hurtled at and around Link, he shot off into the distance, only to land on a purple observatory roof.

Another of the Zora's: Damn Brabirds! We'll get 'em this time! I bet that was one of their employees huh?

Sergeant Zorakan: Come on Men, let's get this on now we are gunna go and get some so let's go and get some

Private Zork: Right, right hey Zoan wat weapons you got to take the bastards down

Private Zoan: Only my fins and a couple of sharp fish bones, pretty crap huh talk about an army, more like the King's Royal Food preparers, we look like bloody cooks carrying this stuff

Zorknak: Silence Zoan you incompetent little prat, keep with the mission and stay focused we gotta take em down

Zoan: Prat? You can screw your job then I aint being in this army, I would rather go and jump in that contaminated ocean there

Zorknak: Don't be so stupid you insignificant little cretinous amoeba

Zoan: Fine, screw you fishbrains!

Zorakan: Here we go again.

Zoan runs and jumps into the ocean and starts coughing.

Zorknak: Ha...What a stick

Link: Oh for god's sake...

A dirty bra lands on top of Links head and moulds itself round his head.

Zorknak: Oh god! Link hold on

The Zora's help Link remove the bra from off his face and they succeed and then see a Brabird

Zorakan: There's one get him!

The Zora's throw they fins and they all miss

Zorknak: Smart little birdbrain, try the fish bones

They all the throw the fish bones and Brabird fires loads of bras knocking most of the Zora's out, the bird then drops a Brabomb which is set to detonate in 2 minutes

Zorknak: Oh Lord Din! Its gunna blow someone try and stop it!

Zorakan: Oh no, I think we are goners

Zorknak: Wow now that's being positive, geez!

Zoan: Coughs and emerges, only to submerge again

Zorknak: Someone get rid of it!

Zorakan: Erm...we touch it and it will blow.

Zorknak: Oh great steaming piles of turd, great!

Link jumps in the horrible bra infested waters and swims to shore, he gets out his boomerang and poses like a wannabe. The boomerang is sent flying at the bomb; it picks it up and flies back to Link.

Link: Who is the best?

Link stands there acting cool as the boomerang comes back with the Brabomb.

Explosion

The fog clears and Link is stood there, covered in underwear, there isn't exactly a smile on his face.

Zorknak: They...they got him

Zorakan: Yeh...it looks like, I knew he was too smart for his own good, I guess its up to us now, Link has been contaminated within the wet underwear so he is now of no use to us

Zorknak: Wait a minute there Captain, he isn't exactly dead is he, he's just covered in underwear that STINKS! Nothing wrong with that I bet we smell worse to him since we are fish

Zokoan: Hey, hey more of em are approaching, better use Plan B

Zorknak: Did we even have a Plan B?

Zorakan: I didn't know we even had a Plan A?

Zokoan: Well umm, anyway Plan B is to...

Link: Hey hey, man they bloody stink! Anyways I'm ok like its just I might smell a bit, now come on we gotta get back at these guys quickly

Zorknak: Any bright ideas? THEY ARE COMING STRAIGHT FOR US!

An invisible light bulb appears above Link's smelly head.

Link: Hey Brabirds! You do smell awfully nice!

Zorknak: What the hell?

Link: Can you come closer? So I can smell your...lush, beautiful aurora?

Brallon: Flutters near Link you don't mean it do you? Do you like my smell?

Link cringes

Link: Why of course! It's beautiful, it's like the blossoms of Lost Woods are here!

Zorknak: Dear god...

Brart: Of course! Smell us dear boy!

Link gets engulfed in smell and falls unconscious to the floor before shouting...

Link: Now!

The Zora's attack them with a furious charge killing many and sending them flying, it continues for about 20 minutes until all the Brabirds are dead and many Zora's as well

Zorknak: Well paints that went well, thanks Link for that sacrifice we needed something to lure them down

Zokoan: Phew, there gone...for now but the war aint over they are still taking over other parts of Termina and with these very little numbers I doubt we will take em all on

Zorknak: Man, its only me and Zokoan the rest are dead including the Captain, stupid sod, well that leaves me in charge, Link get up we are going to Snowhead, I'm sure the Gorons can assist as and join us in the war, they might be under attack already so we betta hurry

Zokoan, Zorknak & Link headed up to the mountains to help the Gorons

Link: Man we've come this far and now look at us, down to just the three of us

Zokoan: Yeh, pretty ironic huh? Those Brabirds were vicious, but now we gotta help our close allies from the same dreaded bastards, grrr

Zorknak: Man I hate this job, I should have never signed up to the Zora Army, no offence on us be we were pretty crap back there,

Link: Hey you two shut the bloody hell up will ya, we gotta problem here! A massive snowball has blocked the way on, just typical, could it get any worse?

Zorknak: Yeh it could roll down and squash us!

Link looks at Zorknak and blinks

Link: What?

Zorknak: It could roll down and squash us...

Link: You idiot...

The gigantic snowball rolls down the hill and squashes Link, he rolls all the way down the hill they have just climbed

Zorakan: You really are an idiot.

After ten minutes Link drags his sorry behind up to where he was stood earlier. He flings a Deku Nut at the ground and it blinds Zorknak. Zorknak wanders round and walks into an icy wall until he regains his senses.

Link: Right, let's push on shall we?

Zokoan: Where are all the Brabirds? There isn't any sign of them?

Link: Yet...

The crew traveled steeper up the mountain and finally come to the Mountain Village where the Smithy Shop is located

Link: Hmm, looks pretty deserted

Zorknak: Yeh, I wonder what occurred here, it used to be such a lively place

Zokoan: The Goron's are probably at the Goron Village, it would make much more sense

Then they see one the Blacksmiths come out of the building

Link: Hey hey dude

Zubora: You betta get outta here while you still can, we were invaded not to long ago, we took refuge in our shop and now it seems all the Gorons have gone

Zorknak: Listen buddy we dont wanna listen to all your crap, if wanna be helpful or even exist at all you could make me and my Zora buddy a sword to fight off these things

Zubora: Erm...It's going to cost you in gold, not for the exchange...just because that we need gold dust to make good swords. Sorry buds...

Link: Gees!

Link falls through a hole in the ice and freezes solid

Zubora: Oh and it looks like you'll need to melt your little buddy somehow.

A Brabird flies across the sky, it drops a pair of horrible, dirty knickers and they plant themselves on Link's frozen head, they then freeze.

Zubora: You should get shelter as soon as you can, but first of all I say you unfreeze your buddy, there's gotta be some spring water around here somewhere?

Zorknak: Oh crud. Looks like we are in a mess huh Zokoan?

Zokoan: Shut up fool

Zorknak Sighs

Zokoan heads up the ladder to the Goron Graveyard to get some Spring Water

Zubora: Be careful up there I heard that the dead still wander that place

Zokoan: Huh?

He then loses his grip and falls all the way down into the freezing cold water, but doesn't come back out

Zorknak: Uh-oh! Zokoan?

Zorknak approaches the freezing pool slowly to see if he could see Zorakan

Zorknak: Zorakan? ZORAKAN!

Zokoan leaps up out of the ice he was frozen in

Zokoan: Remember, Zora's don't freeze that easily you doofus

Zorknak: Heh, whoopsie.

Zokoan: Well you are an idiot

Zorknak: You still fell off

Zokoan: Good point

Zorknak: Go on then

Zokoan frowns but eventually climbs to the top, he shouts at the top of his voice.

Zokoan: I made it you overgrown fish!

Zorknak: Whispers to himself Aren't you an overgrown fish too?

Zorknak comes out with a bottle full of steaming hot water

Zokoan: Ha...yeah sure! The dead walk that place right? All i did was move a statue!

Zorknak: Ha! Well y'kno...lookout...man...

A ghost appears behind Zokoan

The ghost was pure white and the snow behind it almost made it impossible to see, the ghost pushed Zorakan off, and the bottle of spring water went flying into Zubora's hand and Zokoan once again landed in the freezing cold pond for the 2nd time

Zorknak: Hahah part 2 for you my friend, anyways Zubora give us that bottle

He snatches it from him and pours it over Link and the ice then melts

Link: It's about BLOODY TIME TOO! Geez, now then if we are ready then lets go to the village

Zorknak: Hey what about the smithy dude, I thought he was gunna get me and Zokoan some neat weapons

Zubora: Sorry but if you wish to have a weapon you should at least have some Gold Dust

Zorknak: What the bloody hell is that?

Zokoan: Gold dust you morrow what else? It's like a golden powder substance which is used the process of forging weapons, quite rare I believe

Link: I believe we may find some if we head to the village, now let's go hippies!

Zubora: I await your return

Zokoan: Our return? It's not as if we are going on holiday

Zubora frowns

Zorknak: Man it's freezing out here

Link: Hey! Ladies! Let's go!

They walk through the gap and into the place with two bridges, where a small Goron is rolling backwards.

Zokoan: Errrr wrong way mate

Gorn: Oops, that's why I'm not making any progress.

Wolfos appears from nowhere and acts hard

Wolfos: Hahahaha let me claw you to death!

Link: Oh please...

Link got out his sword and slashed the canine multiple times until it fell off the cliff and its blood painted the snow green

Link: Ha, stupid insolent dog

One of the Goron Elders approached the gang

Gorkam: I am glad you are here we are under severe attack, we need assistance right away

Zorknak: Well we aint no professional marines or well trained army soldiers but we will do our best

Zokoan: Aren't we? Well I have had a lot of experience with wars, I was remember in the last Great War with the Gerudo Pirates

Link: Yeh, yeh just shut up both of ya we gotta some Bra's to burn

Zorknak: Oh my!

Zokoan: Hey but wait what about our swords!

Link: Ahhh yes, Gorkam do you know where we can get some 'Gold Dust' from?

Gorkam: There is a race currently being held at the top of that there hill, however, I doubt an odd party like you would win it, especially against steroid pumped Gorons like us...ahem...well not like me.

Zorknak: So who's going to enter?

They all look at Link

Link: It's always me!

Link walks off up the hill but slips over and lands in the freezing cold water below them, his feet stick out in the air

Zorknak: Oh for the love of Din.

After a while of bittering...

Zorknak: 1!

Zokoan: 2!

Gorkam: Cough, cough...3!

Zorknak: PULL!

Link flies out of the ice and up the hill to the entrance of the Goron race

Link enters and comes to a huge Goron Racetrack and sees many others taking part behind the start line

Link: I better ask one of those dudes if I can join

Link walks about to a random Goron

Link: Hey yo, I was wondering if I could join in the races

Gorok: Hahahahaah! You're joking right? Your not even a Goron, seriously you should give things more thought before coming to a place strictly for Goron's only

Link: What?

Link walks back out, hey guys I need to be a Goron to participate

Zorknak: Well duh! You have got a Goron Mask you know

Link: Huh? Oh yeh forgot about that

Zorknak: Man, I didn't know you were as thick as me geez

Link puts on Deku Scrub masks and transforms into a short, squeaky and stumpy little wooden-like figure

Link: Voila!

Zorknak: Erm? That's...that's a Deku mask, you idiot Link.

Link: Heh, so it is.

Link takes off mask and puts on Goron Mask; he turns into a fat, stone-muscled brown figure.

Zokoan: That's more like it.

Link rolls into the entrance of the Goron races

Gorok: Aha you are just in time, the races start in a few seconds, quickly!

Link: Heh heh heh...

Link curls up into a ball behind the starting line, as the whistle is blown to go he rolls round the corner into a Brabird and rolls into another Goron, sending it flying off of a cliff and hurtling down out of sight.

Link: Dratted bird!

Link bursts threw and is now 1st for the time being, he dodges many patches of Goron turd on the way and the many behind him fall in it and get covered

Link: Alright man this rocks!

Until Link crashes right into a Brabird, squashing it but at the same time covering his shell with a pair of knickers, he now continues to roll and the knickers spin madly and fly off to onto one of the spectators and dies

Meanwhile the Gorons are catching up; one of them encounters a Brabird and flies off the side of the mountain, never to be seen again.

Link: Wooooooh! Losers!

Link rolls and rolls until he reaches the finish line, he rolls over first

Gorok: You win! Congratulations!

After everyone has finished and the show has settled down

Link: Where's my gold dust? Huh? Huh?

Gorok: Calm down, calm down. Here's your Gold dust prize.

Link runs out and jumps down the hill, forgetting about the water below him, he turns to ice once again with his legs pointing into the air.

Meanwhile the second and third winners are stood on the podiums, a bra floats down just as the announcer announces the winner.

Announcer: And the winner is... Goron drum roll A...bra?

Announcer: No folks I am not mistaken but indeed a bra has won second prize

Bettor: What the bloody hell? I bet 50 Rupees Gona would be 2nd and look who wins! A BLOODY BRA! WHAT THE HELL?

Announcer: Please calm down, so errm yeh bra here is 2nd prize some Silver Dust, enjoy!

The spectators become tired and peed off and the announcer steps by the 3rd podium

Spectator: Excuse me can I ask a question? WHAT ARE THE BLOODY ODDS OF A NON-LIVING THING LIKE A BRA WINNING?

Announcer: Anyway, Goro wins 3rd prize and a nice juicy rock is the prize

Goro: Umm...what? What is this? A ROCK? Huh? I come third and I get a stupid hunk of stone! What am I meant to do with this?

Announcer: Umm eat it its a Goron's delicacy

Goro: Uh-oh "thinks to himself that he just gave his trick away of dressing up as a Goron" Well I gotta later thanks for nothin you smelly piece of Goron poop

Announcer shakes hands with bra

Announcer: Congratulations!

Meanwhile outside Link has just been plucked from the ice yet again.

Zokoan: Did you get the gold dust?

Link: Did I get the pink, double leaved Hylian spiked rare cacti plant? Did I hell! I got the gold dust!

Zorknak: Woooh go Link, he come to town! He comes to save! The Princess Zelda!

Link: Shut up Zorknak

Zorknak: Erm yes sir...

The group travel back to the smithy

They enter

Link: All right here ya go a nice bottle full of lovely sparkling Gold Dust

Zorknak: Yeh so you better make us a weapon from it or we may have to take action

Zokoan: Drop it Zorknak, so anyway we have it now

Zubora: Ah, excellent, excellent now then in the meantime you will have to come back tomorrow, it will take a day precisely to do your weapons, so please wait elsewhere until then and pick it up in the morning

Zorknak: Umm wat did you just say? TOMORROW! THOSE BLOODY BRABIRDS WOULD HAVE COVERED TERMINA WITH HORRID BLOODY KNICKERS THEN AND IT WOULD BE TO LATE DUMBASS! So what I mean is get doing it now we need these weapons right now, no waiting!

Zubora: Hang on a minute, reforging existing weapons is not a simple process you know, it involves accurate specific shaping etc.

Link: Aw geez man we would like them now really it's important

Zorknak: Yeh, shove them into the furnace and get going! We need them now

Zubora: It cannot be done so fast! Stop being so impatient.

Link walks outside and at arms reach walks back in with a pair of knickers, the stench fills the whole smithy, Link raises his eyebrow.

Zubora: Okay, okay I get the point!

Zorknak: Your neck will have the point if you don't hurry up! The point of my sword!

Zokoan: Pokes Zorknak What? Your invisible sword that this kind fellow is making for you?

Zorknak: Ahem...heh, well you see.

Many hours of tea and biscuits later

Zubora: Mamma mia! Your swords are a done! I'm a Zubora Number 1!

Link: Bloody hell! Wake me up why don't you!

Zorknak: Yeah! And what's with the Super Mario get up?

Zubora: Apologies a bit overexcited but your weapons are finally done, wow I really outdone myself I AM GENIUS!

Zorknak: Yeh whatever Mario hand em over

Zorknak snatches them off him and has one for himself and another for Zokoan

Zokoan: All right!

Link: We all happy, good now come on people let's move our asses we got Termina to save from the bloody Brabird invasion

Zorknak: To right! They will get the point of it when I show em my new fierce looking sword

Zokoan: Pah! Mine is much more frightening, yours couldn't cut through cotton!

Zorknak: Screw you I'll gut your head off if you speak ill of my sword again

Link: Umm if you two have finished then let's get going, for the love of Din geez

They head to Goron Village

Goral: Yes! Armed warriors! Help us!

Captain Gorage: Yesh, we need help, the Brabirdsh are Attacking ush! Argh! No! They got me!

Captain Gorage rolls down white powdery snow after being blown up by a bra bomb

Link: Look out!

A Brabird comes crashing down and flies into Zorknak, he gets knocked out and lays in the snow

Zokoan: Bloody cretin

Link: Die birds!

After a tremendous struggle

Captain Gorage: Phew...I wash nearly a goner then...Thanksh for ushing one of your fairiesh on me.

Link: It's no big deal, we have thousands of em from the big fairy steal scheme...and I won't talk much more about that.

Zorknak: Moans and pulls head out of snow Man, why do I always get hit by these bastard birds?

The crew make it to the Goron Shrine

Link: Right you guys we need to get in

Captain Gorage: Well you shee it requiresh a switch in order for it to be openeshed

Zorknak: Err come again dude what did you say?

Zokoan: I think we need to press down a bloody switch to get it to open

Link: Where's the goddamn switch man?

Gorage: On topsh of the mountain where it alwaysh is

Zorknak: Oh great we gotta go back up there again

Zokoan: I'll go you guys stay here

Zokoan runs up the snowy hill and towards the steep mountains

Zorknak: You know I've been thinking

Link: Please, dont think Zork it aint your style mate

Zorknak: You cheeky...

The door opens

Link: And you were saying

Zorknak: YES! ITS OPEN WE CAN TAKE REFUGE in here for now and also save the poor buggers that are in here fearing for there lives

The crew runs in pretty fast

Captain Gorage: Hey! What the! Basshtards!

They all rush past Gorage, sending him spinning around

Baby Goron: Mweh! Certain other baby Goron noises

Link: Shut your mouth!

Link picks up a rock and throws it into the baby's mouth; it does as it's told.

After they all reach the top

Captain Gorage: Now in order to shave Termina, we must kill all the Brabirdsh.

Zorknak: Did he just say shave Termina?

Zokoan: Does Zorknak want a punch?

Link: Shut up fools!

Captain Gorage: Who ish with me?

Zorknak: What so he's turned German now?

Link: Right can we all shut up now we need to decide what we are going to do

Captain Gorage: Well it would sheem that the Brabirdshs are surroundingis this very building right nows

Zorknak: Bloody hell! Do you know what your saying cause to me you're talking out your own ass!

Zokoan: Please Zorknak there are children here remember

Zorknak: Oh...

Link: ANYWAY! We are safe for now, we better stock up on supplies just in case, and it seems the torches are lit so let's keep warm too

Captain Gorage: There ish a Goron Shopsh here you know, its justsh over theresh, it shells all shorts of neat shtuff

Zorknak: Oh Farore help us please...geez I didn't get a bloody word of that, "a shop that has shells and shorts for sale" umm ok then wateva, bit cold for those aint it?

Zokoan: Anyway Link you better speak with the Goron Elder; he will be up in his room at the top

Link: Yeh right, you stay here and look after the kids

Captain Gorage: Remember Linksh he is very shenshitive so please shpeak nicely

Zorknak: Ummm...and they though my swearing was bad...

Link shoots upstairs and enters the Goron Elder's chamber

Link: Yo you hip old Goron you!

Goron Elder: What the bloody hell!

Link: Erm, in Termina we say Hello

Goron Elder: You startled me to death!

Link: Well it looks like you're on that way out soon anyway.

Goron Elder: You have come to discuss the Brabirds yes?

Link: No, I've actually come to discuss the Deku Scrub book reading club of Southern Swamp.

Goron Elder: Ahhh, a hobby of min...

Link: OKAY...I was being sarcastic; yes I have come to discuss the Brabirds.

Meanwhile

Zorknak: No you read it a story!

Zokoan: No you read it a story you absolute pillock.

Baby Goron: Cries its sorry little head off

Link: Shut up!

Rock flies into Baby Goron's mouth

Zorknak: Man, looking after all these must be a bloody killer

Captain Gorage: Well you shee, they are babiesh and they need to have entertainishment

Zorknak: Please dude dont talk to me I'm going to the shop that you so called sells shells and shorts, I think I may need a new pair anyway

Captain Gorage: You dont undershtand, the shopsh only shells bombsh, arrowsh & tunicshs

Zorknak: Yeh that too, whatever

Meanwhile

Link: So elder what's the plan? Or are too worned down to even think?

Goron Elder: Bloody hell I aint that old! Anyway we can't stay here too long for obvious reasons; the Brabirds will realize sooner or late that we are in here

Link: Well we better grab the kids and whatever we need and leave right now, you coming?

Goron Elder: No, I will stay here it is where I wish to die

Link: Fair enough

Zorknak: So you got some shorts for sale?

Shopkeeper Gorude: Some say what now?

Zorknak: Some shorts you cretin.

Shopkeeper Gorude: Erm we don't see shorts, however we do sell arrows and bombs and other useful items...

Zorknak: What about shells you got any shells?

Shopkeeper Gorude: Can't say we got any of them my friend.

Zorknak: Since when was I your friend?

Shopkeeper Gorude: Hey now, I aren't looking for any trouble...

Zorknak: Hmph!

Zorknak gets back to Zokoan

Zokoan: Found some shorts?

Zorknak: Shut up!

Captain Gorage: I told you they didn't see sshhhhortsshhh. Now, It seemsh we need to move, I shay we head for Ikanya, to Shave Termina, what do you shay?

Zorknak: I don't shave anything, now please dude, go get a speech impediment adviser or something.

Zokoan: Man... Shakes head

Link and the elder arrive downstairs with the rest of the group after along discussion about nothing

Link: Right, to Ikanya we go!

Captain Gorage: Let ush go!

Zorknak: Oh don't say he's coming with us?

Zokoan: Looks like we have no choice

Zorknak: Oh great...

The crew all charge the stone wall and run like the wind, strangely there were no Brabirds around and so they headed back down the mountains on to the field

Captain Gorage: Waitsh! Waitsh! I am knackereish can we shtop for now

Zorknak: If you're tired mate you can stay behind that's fine be me

Link: What? Tired already?

Captain Gorage: Yeh shorry, shorry, manish I could diesh for a cup of milisk

Zorknak: Hmm I can't say I have heard of that drink, maybe its Goron wee

Zokoan: I think he means milk

Link: Look we can't stop now! Come one get up we gotta move quickly

Captain Gorage: Rightsh Rightsh let ush go once again

The crew head for the barren spooky road that leads to Ikana and they come to a gigantic path with a steep ledge blocking the way to the Ikana Village

Captain Gorage: Jeshus, thish ish one big road!

Link: Hmm...It seems we need assistance to get to the village but first let's explore where the other path on the road leads

Captain Gorage: I have a greash idea, maybe we gotta shit a switch and it will activate a ladder to get up theresh

Zorknak: Are you serious?

Zorknak: Man that other road doesn't look so normal, infact it looks opposite of normal

Zokoan: Maybe we have to hit a bloody switch to activate a ladder! Yeah because obviously, a switch is going to make a ladder appear out of nowhere.

Completely ignoring Zokoan

Link: Hey guys look a switch!

Links steps on the switch and a ladder appears from nowhere

Zokoan: Well punch me sideways...would you look at that.

Captain Gorage: Yesh, you shee, the shtratoshpetic fieldsh around the invishible ladder enabled it to appear to the eye.

Zorknak: Taken to gibberish now I see, well I hope you go far.

Link: Come on guys, up the ladder!

Captain Gorage: You expect me to climb that? It is physhhhically imposhible for me to make such a thing posshible.

Zorknak: Dude, get your ass up there, or I'll stick a fin where the sun don't shine.

After a while of getting Captain Gorage up the ladder...

Captain Gorage: Phew! Well beat me shhhtupid! I'm out of it!

Captain Gorage falls asleep

Zorknak: Oh...crud


End file.
